“A Wisconsin cemetery groundskeeper is charged with prying an expensive Fender Telecaster guitar from the hands of a corpse because he allegedly thought the instrument was too valuable to end up inside a crypt, the Green Bay Press-Gazettereports.
Steven Conard, 39, has been charged with stealing the $2,000 guitar from the coffin of Randall Jourdan, who died last week at age 67.
In fact, the newspaper reports, family members say Jourdan’s fingers had been wrapped around the headstock of the custom-made Fender as he lay in his coffin.”
Normally I would say that the headline “prying a guitar from the hands of a corpse” is a little sensationalist, but that’s exactly what this guy did. Conrad, the perp, was quoted as saying, “This isn’t something I normally do. I just have a respect for fine musical instruments.”
Dude. That’s not something you get to decide. It’s not like you saved a wife from throwing herself on the pyre after her husband or something. It’s an inanimate object that you straight up stole. From a corpse.
Do we want to bet on whether or not he’s creepy lookin’?
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I hope we all bet on, “yes, creepy lookin!” because that means we win!