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Your Mortician has been tutoring a pair of twins for almost a year now.  They are a holdover from when I used to be a poor death school student. 

Here they are kicking it colonial in one of our Ecstasy of Decay films.  Hi Ladies!

Today we were talking about the courses they’ll be taking next year as seniors in high school.  Apparently, one of these required courses is called “Marriage, Life, and Love.”  The course syllabus involves planning your wedding (to a good Christian man, of course) and carrying around an 8lb faux flour baby to learn about child rearing.  This, alone, was shocking.  What’s even MORE shocking is that, until last year, the girls could choose between “Marriage, Life, and Love” and “Death and Loss.”  Girls who took “Death and Loss” got to write their own obituaries and plan their funerals.

That is- until they cancelled “Death and Loss” because it was, “too depressing.” 

Deep breaths.  Deep breaths.

Now, “Marriage, Life, and Love” is the only option. 

I don’t think I really even have to say this, but I will anyway.  Marriage is not what it once was.  Many people choose not to get married, or to have some manner of alternate partnership.  Child bearing is not what it once was.  Many people choose not to have mewling infants.  Or to adopt a mewling toddler instead.  But you know what is exactly like it once was forever and ever amen?  That’s right.  DEATH.

How DARE they deprive young women of perhaps the most valuable part of their future because they don’t want to offer something depressing.

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