Reddit (super interweb content generator) can be kind of hard to process if you’re not someone who uses the site regularly. But there’s a fantastic thread going on now about the strangest dying wishes people have for their dead bodies. I plowed through the thread today and pulled my favorite ones from the mire. Some are illegal, but A+ for people creatively processing their post mortem fantasies!
“My Geology teacher told us he wants his ashes thrown in the water over Marianas Trench. Apparently it’s a subduction zone, and in a few million years he’ll become a rock.”
“When I die, I want my body to be made into gunpowder, and then used for an absurd pyrotechnics display as a naked wax model of myself on puppet strings dances about, just to traumatize my relatives.”
“My grandfather wanted to be cremated and put into an old Mickey Mouse Club lunch box- then hurtled from a bridge in Northern California.”
“My buddy wants to have a full bar at his funeral with his coffin as the bar, so everyone can have one last drink on him.”
“I would like for my body parts (arms, legs, head, torso, fingers) to be chopped up and implanted with gps tracking devices. Those body parts would then be encased in resin and buried in remote areas of the world; places that would require a real adventure to get to. A year later the coordinates would be released online and the first team to reassemble my body wins my estate.”
“My Grandpa Earl heard about a woman who made earrings and other glass art from the ashes of the Mount Saint Helen’s eruption. So he contacted her to ask if she could do the same with his ashes. Amazingly she said yes. So he made plans to have a pair of earrings made for my Grandma and his four daughters. As his name was Earl, he kept calling them “Earlrings.”
“My dad made me PROMISE, in all seriousness, that I would play Bananaphone at his funeral.”
“There was a climber, Paul Humphrey, that frequented a climber’s forum, Super Topo. He died of skin cancer, after a long battle that was documented on a SuperTopo thread. His last wish was to be cremated and have a bit of his ashes be put into chalk bags so that he could climb around the world, with new friends. He wanted them to be called Paul’s Balls. his last wish came true and many people, including myself, documented their climbs done with Paul.”
Come deathlings, I’ll bet we can be even more ridiculous! What shall it be for your corpse?